Have we reached a point where workplace bullying is becoming as well known as schoolyard bullying?
The answer is, no, not yet, but the phenomenon of workplace bullying has been brought to light much more than it ever has before.
This is due not only to some of the major news media interviewing the experts on it but also through the explosion of social media online and the influences it has.
The instant communications that people have now like texting their friends and families, posting on facebook, twitter and youtube, have brought workplace issues to the forefront for millions of more people.
Although the social media and other mobile devices make the awareness and reporting of workplace bullying incidents almost instantaneous, there is another side to this whole thing. Cyber bullying!
Now the bullies have a new weapon to use against their victims to bring them down, harass and ridicule them.
These wireless devices can really add to the relentless, unhealthy, intimidating or humiliating behaviors of workplace bullies.
Remember the main characteristics of a bully are to control and aggressively assault a target through repeated verbal abuse, sabotaging of their work, humiliating them in front of their co-workers and generally mistreating them so badly that they lose their dignity, confidence and self respect and end up leaving the company.
If these types of behaviors are haunting you whether they are coming from your boss or another co-worker and you think that they are being obsessive with their abuse, there are certain steps that you can take and that I have outlined in my book, “Alligators In The Water Cooler” to stop the bully and/or have a permanent solution to their abusiveness once and for all.
It all boils down to learning why it is happening, who is getting targeted and why and what kinds of actions will be needed to put an end to it.
As of right now, the law can be used for discrimination cases but there are none yet on the books against bullying itself.
Until one is passed we have to change things in certain other ways to protect our health and make for a fun and exciting workplace that is never toxic.
If you haven’t yet gotten a free copy of the e-book, “Rising Above The Workplace Bully”, Click Here to get it now.
Until next time, don’t let a bully rob you of the joy in your life.
Some people will tell you that bullies in the playground at school are basically harmless and are just having a little fun so tell your kid to get over it.
That’s OK if you are the bullies parents but what about the mockery made of the child that was victimized? And, how long do you expect them to put up with it before doing something drastic or just giving up on themselves completely?
See, the kids are not really able to escape the torment because they are required to attend school and if they don’t show up they will be in a lot of trouble with the school officials and their parents especially.
Now we jump forward to the working environment and guess what? The bullies are here also. They just graduated from school and brought their toxic behaviors right into the workplace with them.
Now you have choices. Unlike school, you are not stuck in the job and can leave at any time but not without consequences of course. Quitting job after job will not look good on your resume nor is it good for advancement qualifications.
The fact is that you might be stuck with being bullied at work without being able to do anything about it because you probably need the job for financial security and for building your career.
When you find yourself in the sights of a workplace bully, the best thing to do is to make a plan to deal with it and stick to your plan. Don’t let the bully drive you down so far that you suffer with emotional and physical health problems.
And, remember that this is NOT your fault and no matter what the bully says, you definitely did NOT cause this.
There are plenty of resources to go to for help and information. Get a free copy of Rising Above The Workplace Bully.
If you have been in the workforce very long you may have been the target of workplace mobbing in one form or another.
This can be in the form of a few people that disagree with another’s workplace habits all the way up to where there is outright conflict between two or more workers against one individual, hence the term workplace mobbing.
These mobbing situations vary widely along with the remedies that will turn a workplace from being extremely toxic to one of cooperation and productivity.
A target of workplace mobbing is generally female, shy or introverted and one that does not want to cause any waves or report anything to their superiors because of the fear of retaliation.
The people that engage in workplace mobbing against one of their fellow co-workers are usually lead by one person who is a stronger personality and follow along so as not to be the target of this mobbing themselves.
There is power in numbers and if one person can get one or more others to follow their lead the damages can be significant.
The target of this workplace mobbing will, over time, suffer psycological and health related problems that may last for years if not halted right away.
Talk to you immediate supervisor so that they are aware of th situation. You should also let your HR department know so there is a record of your reporting it.
Keep a journal of the times and things that are happening to you through this workplace mobbing incidents, like how often they occur, what is said or done and the exact time and date of these occurrences.
You need to make your leadership know what is going on so that it can be brought to an abrupt halt before there is any damage done to either the person being mobbed or to the company’s productivity.
Workplace Bullies can be manipulative both negatively and positively. How we handle these manipulations can be extremely important to the way our day goes.
Even though we would like to think that the people we work with every day are well-adjusted, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn’t so.
Have you ever had times when your workday is going along smoothly and without incident then Bang, you get blindsided by a workplace bully who manages to suck the wind out of you with their harassment and negativity?
A lot of the time you can shrug it off and take it with a grain of salt but other times it just drives you into the ground it’s so bad.
You might have a great positive attitude normally, but when you are forced to work around these negative, narcissistic workplace bullies on a day to day basis, it wears you down, robs you of your happiness, productivity and over-all self worth.
It makes you feel negative too.
Some of these workplace bullies can have a really negative impact on us. And, even though we all have our issues, some of these people’s issues can affect us in a very negative way especially if they are verbally abusive or intimidating at work.
These bullying kinds of behaviors in the workplace will greatly affect our creativity and productivity at work.
They grind away at our mental well being. They drive down our self-esteem and generally cause our lives to be in a constant state of uncertainty.
They can suck the life out of us and even cause major health problems which could shorten our lifespan.
These individuals (workplace bullies) are experts at these tactics and you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late.
These individuals figure out what your weaknesses are, and will use them to get what they want.
They have a way of compromising your belief systems and taking away your self-esteem.
They find ways of manipulating you to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation.
All of a sudden you realize that the world becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
The best defense against these defeatist personalities is to arm yourself with the information available and educate yourself so you will be able to detect the workplace bully by his actions long before it is too late and real damage is done to you.
What Should You Do When You Witness Workplace Bullying?
This might be tough, but when a lot of people witness bullying in the work environment, they normally disregard it and don’t do anything about it. A lot of individuals will simply keep their mouths shut. This makes the individual being bullied feel simply that much worse about exactly what is occurring.
Rather than overlooking it and hoping it will all go away, (it never ever does) there is one thing you could do when you witness workplace bullying and that is to speak up and notify the proper authorities!
Research does show that even though 95 % of co-workers understand when somebody is being verbally mistreated, daunted or bullied, just about 8 % of them actually did something about it. 28 % of these witnesses sympathized with what was occurring and offered some kind of support to the target. The rest of them did definitely nothing at all or, if you can imagine, they sided with the bully!
Why is it that many people do not do anything when they see bullying happening?
The biggest reason we’ve discovered for this inaction on the part of the witnesses is simply being afraid. As much as we dislike to see others get harmed, we typically have ideas like, “I’m delighted it’s not me.” Witnesses are typically scared that speaking up might turn them into a target and, they are generally.
It is a genuine possibility since, hardly anyone who witnesses any type of workplace bullying first hand wishes to take the bull (bully) by the horns and discuss it with their manager or report it to the correct authorities.
Just remember this though, if you do nothing, you can be thought about as an accomplice to the bully. Please, state something to someone, even if it’s simply a few words of support to the person that is being victimized.
Below is a really fascinating case history that we discovered.
Physicians are commonly seen bullying those around them especially in the operating space. In light of this, registered nurses worldwide have developed what is called a “Code Pink.” This is how it works, if a doctor starts bullying a nurse, various other nurses in the vicinity will form a circle around them.
They will also show assertive body language and gaze at the physician till he recognizes that this isn’t really appropriate. This is a strong way of mentioning that no one will tolerate bullying, and it commonly sends out such a convincing message to the person doing the bullying that it prevents it from taking place again.
Please do something if it is obvious that bullying is going on where you work. You might effectively be conserving the wellness or even the life of the person getting bullied, it’s that vital! ~.
Uncertain if you are seeing bullying where you work? Go to http://workplace-bully.com for the complimentary e-book “Rising Above The Workplace Bully.” There you will find all the characteristics of workplace bullying and what you can do to Rise Above Them.
If where you work isn’t stressful, count your lucky stars, most workplaces carry a certain amount of stress with them. With this stress, tempers can flair occasionally and feelings can sometimes be hurt by the words that come out of our mouths.
This is only one type of workplace verbal abuse and usually only happens Sporadically.
Our website was put up to inform people not only about the occasional rant but more importantly about a consistent form of workplace verbal abuse that can be considered outright bullying to the ones being targeted.
It is this type of abuse that is used as a measured type of bullying and harassment that the perpetrator will use to undermine another person’s confidence, self respect, dignity and reliability at work.
Workplace verbal abuse is common in most organizations to one extent or another.
It can be just small innuendos or little statements which ridicule the target every so often or maybe a supervisor that has a chip on his shoulder and thinks the way to get production is to badger people into it.
Down to earth jobs like the construction trades may have more instances of verbal abuse compared to other workplaces such as large retail stores or offices.
Nevertheless, it is a common occurrence that 80% of workers suffer with in one form or another.
As a general rule, verbal abuse in the workplace is done by a supervisor or higher up in the company and stems from being a disciplinarian that has then escalated to consistent verbal abuse of the people under his authority.
It’s not always the boss or manager doing the abusing!
That doesn’t mean that the person in charge will always be the one verbally abusing to gain control over their target by belittling them.
Co-workers can also be responsible for verbally abusing their counterparts and do it as a controlling measure to make the target feel lower in stature thereby making themselves look and feel even more important.
The apparent reasoning for this workplace verbal abuse is generally all over the map, from the controlling boss wanting to keep his workers in a subservient role to a jealous co-worker wanting to earn points with the management.
There are several ways to combat this abuse if you are not willing to cope with it anymore and you have pretty much done your best to either ignore or stay away from the abuser.
At times it might look like the abuse will never end especially when it continues to escalate in both frequency and severity, but there are things you can do to stop this abuse in it’s tracks.
This verbal abuse is NOT your fault!
First of all understand that the perpetrator of this workplace verbal abuse does this because of their own lack of confidence and insecurity.
In other words their insecurities cause them to verbally abuse those around them to prop up their own confidence and make themselves look good in both the eyes of their peers and in most cases the company’s management too.
Workplace verbal abuse is something that you will have to stand up to and take control of.
When you set your boundaries to stop the verbal abuse at work, you will, in most cases, see the abuser stop mistreating you and, more than likely, move on to another target. (Remember it’s their insecurities causing the abuse, not you)
Here are some things you can do to start healing yourself from being bullied, mobbed or harassed at work by your co-workers or your boss.
As with any traumatic situation, we all experience a loss of some sort. In most cases we experience loss of self respect and the ability to work as before in a secure environment without being bullied.
What happens when you are having those feelings of loss?
The Five Steps of Loss:
1. Denial: You do not believe this is happening or has happened to you.
2. Anger: You are angry at yourself for not seeing it coming or for sticking up for yourself. You are also angry at your employer for not doing something about it, and worse yet, for not believing you about it.
3. Bargaining: You try to bargain with the bully. You think it will get him off your back if you are nice to him by saying what he wants to hear or by doing what he wants you to do even if it is beyond reasonable. What you have done is give the bully more power over you because you have now demonstrated you will do anything to make this stop.
4. Depression: The bully will not stop. No one understands what is taking place and your family and friends are tired of hear you complain about this person. You have no one to talk to and you find yourself withdrawing from life.
5. Acceptance: The final step You have accepted the fact that this has happened to you and you’ve realized this is not your fault. In order to remedy the situation, some form of action has to take place on your part. You can wish all you want that the situation gets better, but if you don’t take some form of action, it will remain the same.
Putting yourself first is of utmost importance.
Seek help from your family physician. If you don’t have one, go to a low-cost or free clinic. If you are experiencing abdominal pain, severe headaches, and more, get medical help immediately. By doing so you get the treatment you need and you have started a paper trail of evidence should you need it in the future.
Keep records of what is being said at work, where, when, time and who was present during this conversation. Keep this in a locked drawer at work or take it home with you every night.
Keep a personal journal at home of how you are feeling, what took place that day or each day. It’s important to journal your feelings and as you grow stronger you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
Support groups are helpful, but I caution you to find one that fits your needs and isn’t a continuous “pity party”.
Surround yourself with things that are appealing to your senses including good friends, and family. Take care of yourself…
So, what does that mean for those that are currently employed and what effect will that have on people that are being intimidated and bullied at work?
Unfortunately the pressure of having a lot more people scrambling for work drives up the fear factor in those that are currently employed which in turn causes them to endure more intimidation and bullying tactics just to keep their job.
Now, since the bully sees that there is a greater number of people that are vying for the various positions available, he will put even more pressure on the employees that are under his control to boost productivity and make himself out a hero of the company.
This is done by increasing the intimidation and threats that you can lose your job if you don’t step up the pace or maybe the bully will take credit more and more for your work because he knows that you will keep quiet about his thievery for fear of losing your job.
These are unsettling times for those that are being intimidated and bullied in the workforce. The last thing that you want to do now is become unemployed for a long period of time as the government benefits are not as reliable as they were and can be cut back at any time.
I would recommend getting as much information as you can to help you cope with a bully that is intimidating, harassing or even verbally abusing you at work.
Right now you can grab a free copy of my newest e-book, “Rising Above The Workplace Bully” by visiting this website. http://workplace-bully.com