Here are some things you can do to start healing yourself from being bullied, mobbed or harassed at work by your co-workers or your boss.
As with any traumatic situation, we all experience a loss of some sort. In most cases we experience loss of self respect and the ability to work as before in a secure environment without being bullied.
What happens when you are having those feelings of loss?
The Five Steps of Loss:
1. Denial: You do not believe this is happening or has happened to you.
2. Anger: You are angry at yourself for not seeing it coming or for sticking up for yourself. You are also angry at your employer for not doing something about it, and worse yet, for not believing you about it.
3. Bargaining: You try to bargain with the bully. You think it will get him off your back if you are nice to him by saying what he wants to hear or by doing what he wants you to do even if it is beyond reasonable. What you have done is give the bully more power over you because you have now demonstrated you will do anything to make this stop.
4. Depression: The bully will not stop. No one understands what is taking place and your family and friends are tired of hear you complain about this person. You have no one to talk to and you find yourself withdrawing from life.
5. Acceptance: The final step You have accepted the fact that this has happened to you and you’ve realized this is not your fault. In order to remedy the situation, some form of action has to take place on your part. You can wish all you want that the situation gets better, but if you don’t take some form of action, it will remain the same.
Putting yourself first is of utmost importance.
Seek help from your family physician. If you don’t have one, go to a low-cost or free clinic. If you are experiencing abdominal pain, severe headaches, and more, get medical help immediately. By doing so you get the treatment you need and you have started a paper trail of evidence should you need it in the future.
Keep records of what is being said at work, where, when, time and who was present during this conversation. Keep this in a locked drawer at work or take it home with you every night.
Keep a personal journal at home of how you are feeling, what took place that day or each day. It’s important to journal your feelings and as you grow stronger you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
Support groups are helpful, but I caution you to find one that fits your needs and isn’t a continuous “pity party”.
Surround yourself with things that are appealing to your senses including good friends, and family. Take care of yourself.